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  • Dreaming of Centaurs

    When the weather breaks, I dream of the horses.  In my dreams I am ageless; the horses are a dream of my past and of the future.  Petrichor fills the air and when I run my hand down her withers she is reassuringly solid beneath my touch.  I know that my mind is healing because when I ride in my dreams, my balance, my communication with the horse is no longer fractured; my body flows into her body as though we have been melded, as though we are one. Mornings these days begin at an hour that Kirsty and I used to consider bedtime; the world is bathed in blue light and the birds are optimistic.  When the children tumble down the stairs, the baby is still sleeping beside me.  She stirs as I pull her back into my arms, her mouth opens like a baby bird.  My breastfeeding relationship with…

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    Three Nights at Haven Seashore in Great Yarmouth [AD]

    [This post contains advertorial content.  We were invited to spend a weekend at Haven Seashore in Great Yarmouth in order to review their recently-developed facilities and compensated for our time and promotion.  Nonetheless, I have tried to provide an honest and unbiased account of our experience.] We were so excited to be invited to review Haven Seashore in Great Yarmouth.  If you’ve been following this blog for a while you’ll know that we are no strangers to caravan holidays; they are so convenient with small children.  We love that caravans are virtually indestructible and having some living space and a kitchen is provides much more convenience and freedom than staying in a hotel.  We were especially pleased to review the Haven Seashore caravan park because it has recently undergone a huge renovation to upgrade its facilities, including the creation of new outdoor playgrounds and an indoor soft play and a…

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    On Meeting my Children’s Half-Sister

    The child is an acrobat. She is quiet and fierce, and by the time that she allows my sons to push her on the swing, they are completely in her thrall. We watch them play, her mother and I; they are absorbed in their climbing and sliding, their chalk and their ice cream and we…? We are absorbed in them. Without looking at her, I know that she is looking at my children too; she is searching their faces for her daughter. Standing beside her mother, it occurs to me that I have no word for the woman who mothers my children’s half-sister. I tell them to call her ‘Auntie’ and she does feel a bit like a sister, especially when she pulls from her bag everything that I have forgotten.  She teaches my children how to paint rainbows on their skin and I buy us all ice cream and…

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    Vita at Six Months

    [Images are by Maxine Small and whilst I didn’t pay for these photos, I absolutely plan to commission her again based on her considerable talent.  Would highly recommend!] Vita Marina Calliope Wilde is six months old! Already the baby that she was, dark-eyed and with hair like a moorhen chick, has faded into something between dream and memory; already when I think back to those days it’s with a sense of disbelief that it ever really happened, that there was ever a time where Baby V was new, because surely we never knew a time when there was no Baby V and yet we felt complete. I think back on those somnolent days, where day and night were blended into one, and it feels implausible and magical and oh so special – for me, Vita’s early days where spent curled around my baby, broken and bleeding and stunned, filled with love and gratitude…

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    Tommy’s Splashathon 2019

    [This post shares advertorial content for the promotion of a charity. I have waived my entire fee in order to support this cause and I have donated as well.] One in four women lose a baby during pregnancy or childbirth. I am not a part of that one in four and cannot speculate as to their devastation. Not have I delivered a premature child, although approximately sixty thousand babies are born prematurely every year in the UK. But few women pass through pregnancy untouched by that cold hand of fear, the creeping could-it-be-me unease, the horror when no, it’s not you – but it is a friend, somebody you know. Baby charity Tommy’s is aiming to raise £1 million pounds to fund a National Research Centre for Improving Maternity Care, and is hosting a Splashathon in collaboration with Water Babies. The theme this year is Peppa Pig Pirates and Princesses,…

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