I am pregnant.
The baby is three weeks and four days old and smaller than a full stop at the end of a sentence. It is such early days; it was only on Monday that the baby was transferred from cryopreservation to my womb, and we found out yesterday that I was expecting. My head is a mess of emotion; this baby was (obviously) so planned and is so wanted, and yet I am feeling everything right now. Enormous joy, what-have-we-done terror, sadness for those friends to whom babies don’t come so easily and for whom my news might feel like a knife in the heart. And this pregnancy feels like a bit of a shock; we made a whirlwind decision in mid-January to bring forward our planned frozen embryo transfer, which was originally planned for March, and to see that beautiful double line on a test so soon… my own heart is so full.
All week long, the boys have been talking about Baby Winter. In fact on Wednesday, as the snowflakes began to topple from the sky, Balthazar turned to Kirsty and he said “Yook, Mummy – it’s snowing for Baby Winter!”. Kirsty texted me immediately, because it seemed such a strange connection for a three-year-old to make. I should have taken it as a sign. Of course, these are such early days and there are no guarantees of a baby to welcome home at the end of this – but we are full of hope. And whatever the outcome, we can’t wait to take you on this journey with us.
We are so excited to welcome our little snowflake in early November!