This is often what life is like with twins. You blink and you miss it. You forget to focus, just for a moment, and the whole experience blurs. It’s exhausting and inescapable – even when I’m at work, I’m thinking of you.
But there’s beauty in it nonetheless. The vibrancy. The movement. How we’re always chasing after you, grasping for you, missing you. Pushing you away so that you can swing back to us, all kicking legs and squeals of baby laughter. Dropping one to pick up the other. Dropping the other to pick you back up. Letting you go and then holding you close, breathing you in.
I’m not sure that I’ll remember this year with clarity, when it has passed. When you sleep through the night and sit quietly with your toys and we can drink our coffee hot and have sex again. But I’m going to treasure this blur all my life.