web analytics
  • On Not Carrying the Babies

    A Guest Post by my Partner, Kirsty:

    Deciding between us who would become pregnant was easy; by the time that we were ready to proceed, she knew how I felt and I knew how she felt. It came down to a simple reality: Amber wanted to be pregnant. I did not.


    I know that a lot of women don’t enjoy pregnancy. I’m always quite open about the fact that the idea of being pregnant terrifies me, despite how much I desperately want children, and people tend to react to me as they would to a child who they are convinced won’t hate asparagus if he only just tries it. I have been told dismissively, numerous times by various people, that “it won’t be as bad as I think it is”.

    Perhaps they are right. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as I expected; perhaps I would find it joyful and be delighted at the attention and not mind the odd medical appointment. Maybe pregnancy would become my new favourite thing. Amber is enjoying her pregnancy so much that I haven’t really heard any complaints from her so far, and she is very close to the finishing line. Maybe I would be exactly the same way if it were me, or maybe I wouldn’t.

    Either way, I reserve the right to not want to be pregnant, and I reserve the right to feel like that is okay.

    I love the way we have things. She gets to carry and grow our beautiful boys and I get to stay home and raise them. It couldn’t be more perfect for us; I will get to look at our children and see pieces of the person I love most in their faces, and she will look at our children and think how very ‘Kirsty’ what they are doing is. I love knowing that she is growing our little people. I love watching her just be pregnant. I love how beautiful she looks and how confident she is. I love the knowledge that we have gone from three to five in the bed now. I love how happy we all are.

    And, the best part is that it is completely fine that I never had to have two babies beating up my cervix, attempting to burst out head first from just below my ribcage and squirming with some determination in to my lungs.

    (Love you, boys.)



    1. Terry Wilson
      August 27, 2014 / 4:45 pm

      That all sounds good to me. l can tell from everything you say about yourselves and the deep love you share for each other that you are going to be wonderful parents. xxx

      • August 28, 2014 / 1:22 pm

        Terry, thank you so much. We are so excited to be starting this journey. – Kirsty

    2. August 28, 2014 / 12:45 pm

      Amber has such a lovely bump! I bet you both can’t wait to meet your boys. I loved being pregnant, but I understand that everyone is different, so I don’t blame you for not wanting to.
      I’m sure you will have lots of fun looking after them! 🙂 x

      • August 28, 2014 / 1:24 pm

        Lilinha, thank you! It’s flying by now, we can’t wait for them to get here. – Kirsty

    3. August 31, 2014 / 8:10 pm

      Great to see you blighting , I look forward to reading more.

    4. October 29, 2014 / 9:30 am

      I love this quote “people tend to react to me as they would to a child who they are convinced won’t hate asparagus if he only just tries it.”

      I feel the same when people say “are you sure?” I won’t ever wish to carry any of our babies, Clara does a wonderful job and I don’t feel my body is a baby carrying body and I’m happy with that.

      Great Post.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *