I never used to be like this.
I was never the sort of person to fall asleep by the back door in the middle of the day. And I’ve never been the sort of person to wear jeans – they’re too middle-ground for me, I’d rather wear a beautiful dress else a dressing gown. Jeans and a jumper make me feel so… well, how I look, I suppose. I was never the sort of person to fling those on after a party.
Actually, I was never the sort of person to go to a party at noon, either. Not that sort of party, anyway. Not one with cheesy disco dancing and not a jot of alcohol.The artificial snow was pretty cool though.
You turn six months old tomorrow.
You came to us raw and new and helpless and you made me a little like that too. You turned me into the sort of person who can sob with complete abandon in a busy room, the sort of person who can fight with teeth and nails. Some days I don’t recognise myself.
And I suppose I just wanted to recognise that somewhere, that tomorrow doesn’t just mark six months of you in the world but it also marks six months of me as mother to outside-of-the-womb babies. Six months of me as a mother.
You can have the festivities but I’ll be celebrating me too.