Because you will only be two years old once. Because you will only once be just on the cusp of six months old. And because I think that this is the happiest that I have ever been, surrounded by the chaos of you, as though all my life I had been waiting for toys to explode from the kallax and strew themselves across my floors, my cupboards to fill with biscuits because you love them so, my peace and quiet, my autonomy, to be scrunched up in little baby fists and gummed on to a pulp.
Because I never knew that such joy could be found in seeing two small faces squashed up against a window, in seeing a baby crawl toward me and attach herself, limpet-like, to my legs. I never knew that in being your mother I would be able to look around myself at the end of a long day and know, with certainty, that everything I did had a purpose and that purpose is you.
And because I want to capture everything: that tatty reindeer that Lysander insists on carrying around with him, the way that we can’t keep Balthazar off of the kitchen counters. How you each have a favourite mummy (and every time I’ve been surprised by who naturally gravitates to whom), how even the biggest of you manages to tuck up so small in my arms. Because mingled with the joy is the terror that each time could be the last time – because you are changing constantly, because the dog is getting older, because we are all mortal.
Because I want to be in the picture. Because I want to know what my life looks like from the outside; because I want you to know, one day, what your childhood looked like. Because I can’t quite believe that she happened to me, that you happened to us.
Because part of me is afraid that I will never be this happy again, or this fierce again, or this tired again.
This is our day, immortalised. This is what our lives were like when you were two years old, and when you were on the cusp of six months.
Antonina Mamzenko and I had been acquaintances for a little while through a facebook group for documentary-style family photographers, when she reached out to offer me a Day in the Life photoshoot in exchange for a review of the experience and some social media shares. As this kind of thing is right up my street, so to speak, and I was already a fan of her vibrant and honest photography style I couldn’t say yes quickly enough and begged a day out of the office in order to make it happen.
There is only one rule with this kind of photography: it has to be real. That means no waiting for golden hour, so posing for the camera and absolutely no ‘say cheese’. All that you need to do is go about your ordinary ugly-beautiful day and let the magic happen. Antonina documented our day for eleven hours – from the moment that the barking of the dog woke us up (she was knocking on the door outside) to our putting the toddlers to bed she was there, sometimes laughing and joking with us, sometimes in the middle of the scene, and sometimes so quiet that we forgot that she was there at all. With our crazy family dynamic we needed a photographer who would be able to blend in to the background when necessary, who wouldn’t mind suddenly-naked toddlers and copious baby spit-up, who would just laugh when I needed to pause to answer some work emails or the toddlers descended into their typical pre-bedtime tears.
By the time that we waved her off at the end of the day, she felt like an old friend. ย And after two weeks of anxiously stalking my inbox, she delivered a breathtaking collection of more than one hundred images faithfully documenting our day.
This is the gift that I would give my best friend. ย I definitely plan to have my family and our lives together documented in this style again; I think it would be really interesting to have the same photographer back every couple of years in order to create a collection of photobooks capturing forever our lives as we change and grow.
11 comments
Thank you, loved reading and looking at the photos, a beautiful idea.
Amber, these photos are something else, they are absolutely beautiful and wonderful in every way. How I wish we could have an experience like this!
Your words are just as beautiful, though, you really do have a way with words and it’s a joy to read through – so effortless, just naturally beautiful. Could I say ‘beautiful’ more by the way? ๐
I love how honest this is, you must be so thrilled with the way it turned out. Everything about this is completely lovely.
Lucy
X X
These photos are absolutely amazing! This will be so good for you to look back on in the future and the children, oh the children will be absolutely fascinated by these photos when they are older. I feel inspired to inject a bit more rawness into my photography of my family and not always wait for the perfect, smiley, uncluttered moments. Your house looks just as chaotic and full of love as I imagined, I think because you paint such a vivid picture with your words anyway x
A completely amazing idea, and an even more amazing set of pictures. Please please get them put into a book and cherish it forever!
This is an absolute treasure.
Their little idiosyncrasies, the expressions on faces, the texture of an ordinary day. These are the things which are so hard to cement into our memories. These photos will carry you back in years to come to a time of childhood innocence and chaotic, wonderful family life.
Oh my gosh, this post just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. What amazing, truly beautiful and natural photographs. And the words you have written are poetic in their beauty. How I wish I could press pause on life sometimes. For my children to stay the same age. To not change or grow up. These photos do this. Just for a day. How wonderful. Hugs Lucy xxxx
absolutely gorgeous photographs, what a talented lady she is. I love the way she has captured all the fun – shows that she manages to blend into the background ๐ would love to try something like this ourselves too.
These are just lovely, and a true representation of your family life ‘in the moment’. What wonderful photo memories to have.
These photos took my breath away. So stunningly normal and the boys look so cheeky jumping off the windowsill and having a sink bath! ๐ Hands down my favourite shots of you guys xx
Wow. I cannot begin to put into words how special this post is! I read it a couple of times and spent forever gazing at the photographs, the amazing photographs-she is such a stunning photographer! And I love that it is really a glimpse into your life- I feel privileged! Thank you for sharing your gorgeous family shots. Oh to be able to capture such special moments- such a gift!
What a wonderful experience! I would love for someone to gift me with a documentary style photography experience. These photos are more powerful, more emotive than any posed ‘ say cheese for the camera’ shot could ever be.
Beautiful.